A BIG HELLO fellow bloggers :). Its been a few months since my last post and thought its was definitely long overdue to be in touch. I had a quick look around and WOW I have missed a lot!!!
Today I want to start off with a short science lesson
Diamonds form about 100 miles (161 km) below the Earth’s surface, in the molten rock of the Earth’s mantle, which provides the right amounts of pressure and heat to transform carbon into diamond. In order for a diamond to be created, carbon must be placed under at least 435,113 pounds per square inch (psi or 30 kilobars) of pressure at a temperature of at least 752 degrees Fahrenheit (400 Celsius). If conditions drop below either of these two points, graphite will be created. At depths of 93 miles (150 km) or more, pressure builds to about 725,189 psi (50 kilobars) and heat can exceed 2,192 F (1,200 C). Most diamonds that we see today were formed millions (if not billions) of years ago. Powerful magma eruptions brought the diamonds to the surface, creating kimberlite pipes
I’m not a person who likes a lot of “drama” and when the Fit hits the Shan, I go completely AWOL. Hiding out in my little turtle shell, attempting to protect myself from the mortar fire all around me. Thankfully my dearest friends in this world, know this about me and they are the sweetest, most understanding people in this harsh world, they truly are my diamonds, patiently and non-judging, they “wait” for me to emerge again…I love you all dearly. So to all my bloggers that have not unsubscribed to the void, that has been my blog of late, I truly THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.
I have this bizarre desire to not burden others with my troubles, its something a learned as a child. I became aware, when I really told people the ins and outs of what its like to live with this rare skin condition (EB) they would become so emotional and they would feel helpless. So over the years I would make light of things and pass it off in a joking manner…it became easier than dealing with the intensity of their emotions. Unfortunately over the years this attitude spilled over into all areas of my life and I VERY rarely invite a person into my struggles and I prefer sorting things out on my own. As you get older, fortunately most people are far too self absorbed to worry about your troubles anyway….haha there I go again!!!! All kidding aside, this is a brief breakdown of what’s been going on.
Like the diamond, my families life is under huge pressure and the heat has certainly been cranked up. My old business is still in the toilet and since January this year, my Dad has been fighting the company he works for, they are trying to force him (unfairly and unlawfully) to retire. Even his lawyers cant figure out why this company is doing this. Honestly its been a nightmare. Basically my dad is the only earner and if this goes completely pear shaped…we are all Skrewed!!! My brother is also having legal battles, fighting his ex-wife, who is now remarried and her new, rich ‘trophy’ husband has been physically abusing my little 4 year old niece and my brother’s ex-wife is doing her level best to try and hide the abuse of her own daughter…seriously it makes me sick!!!! That’s at least the high lights of the last few months. In between those two all-consuming concerns its all the little day to day stuff, trying to maintain my own health under all the stress…fun times!
I generally handle times of stress fairly well and besides my fragile physical exterior, internally I’m a pretty tough cookie. Like last year when my Dad’s life was saved in the nick of time from an undetected Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm that was about to burst. It was an intense two weeks and it worked out well. Don’t get me wrong, it most definately took its toll but its the prolonged stress I struggle with.
Tomorrow is the pre-trial meeting for my Dad, so tomorrow is a big day. My hope is that, like the diamonds, this has been the heating and pressure time and after tomorrow it could be the powerful Magma Eruption that brings that diamond to the surface, so it can cool and hopefully become something precious and very valuable :). I kinda like the diamond metaphor to describe life and when you consider what those beautiful ‘rocks’ have been through and how long it took, how can you not be in AWE of the evolutionary journey? The diamond metaphor is especially apt, considering South Africa has been a rich source of diamonds and the city/town of Kimberly got its name after Kimberlite pipes and Kimberly is home to my countries largest diamond mine. Haha, some more useless trivia!!!!
Amidst all this caos, my art has remained and even though my desire to make the transition into a full artistic career is taking time, it remains my haven :). Those days, where in the face of possible financial ruin (again) I loose myself in my artwork and create something new, I stand back and look at MY creation and I’m in AWE of how this evolved!!!! Those moments are absolutely PRICELESS and Nothing in this world compares to that feeling…if there is such a thing as ‘humble pride’, that’s what I feel.
I’m working on a few new pieces, experimenting with new techniques that I’m really excited about. Which I will hopefully share with you all very soon :). Take good care Blog world, I will do my best to be in touch asap. Love to you all.